I gave him 6 months to get clean, and he said he could get clean by then but he’s hoping to get clean before then. I really didn’t want to give him that long but I knew if I only made it 3 months like I really wanted to then I would more than likely disappoint myself, and I didn’t want do that. He seems to be slowing down a little on using, he use to do it 3 or 4 times every day, now he’s down to 1 times about every other day, I really think he’s trying and I’m trying my best 2 have faith that he really is going to change so we can get our relationship back on track so that everything will work out for us like we both want it to.. His biggest fear was that he was going to lose me and lil man… I told him I will stick by his side but after them 6 months that u promised to be clean by and if ur not clean then I think we just need to take time apart until u can get ur self clean, evn tho i really dont think i will let him walk away and let my self walk away…… Even thou I love u and want to spend the rest of my life with u and marry u and have children, sometimes u got to walk away and let someone help their self because u can’t help them anymore, but I promise I will still help u as best as I can.. I really am hoping for the best and I know deep down he really wants to get better, for the fact when he was clean for 2 days he really opened up to me and told me how much he needs me to help him get through this and help him get clean, that he needs me the most right now and even told me some ways to help him. For him to sit there and cry to me for like 2 hours about all this and tell me he’s sorry and so much more that it’s really hard to try to explain everything and how if the one friend he has doesn’t get clean with him then he’s just done hanging out with him because its time for him to get clean and get his life back on track for his self and me and lil man because if he keeps hanging out with people that are doing when he’s trying to get clean then he’s just going to want to use it more and he really wants to get clean… I know things are not going to be easy let alone get through this all like I want it to happen but I’m really hoping for the best and hoping that everything turns out at least okay in the long run. So November 28th needs to get here a lot faster and I pray he really does get clean.
last night was wonderful
We sat and talked 4 a while and didn’t get into a fight or yelling the whole time. He opened up 2 me and it felt so great, evn tho I already knew everything he was saying it just felt great 2 hear it come out of his mouth and for him 2 fanilly admit things! And felt great tha he’s done hanging out with B and haven’t for quite awhile now! Sometimes if u just nvr give up thing really do get better.. Helping him ovr come all this and getting his life bck on track is the best thing I can do 4 him. I’m so glad I stuck by his side no matter how hard things got and no matter how hard thing r really going 2 get still. I can’t wait 2 spend the rest of our lives 2gether and have a family together.. Things r fanilly looking up. :)
I think one of the worst feelings ever is knowing that you care about someone a lot more than they care about you. To a certain extent, feelings are controllable but there is a point where you cannot tamper with the feelings you have for someone and how strong they are no matter how little the other person cares about you and I think it just really sucks.
How come no matter wat he always finds a way 2 ruin it for me. Wat a great Mothers Day. :( I’m so sick of crying everyday. I just want things better, I want him 2 choose me and his son ovr the drugs. I don’t know wat 2 do anymore but I know I’m not walking away. No matter how hard things get I’m gonna stay by his side as long as he let’s me and evn if he pushes me away I’m gonna try my hardes 2 still be by his side. Just praying everything turns out okay in the end.. happy mothers day everyone who is a mother.
